Hunted buttocks
Fraser's Hill (Malaysia), April 5th 2011 

It seems like yesterday, when I think about the summer holiday that I spent with my parents in Portugal. I needed to go to the toilet urgently and there wasn’t a lavatory nearby. My parents, pragmatic as ever, told me to head into the bushes. “I can’t do that!” I cried desperately, but I learned that you can do everything when you really have to. Since that day, I still prefer a clean toilet with walls surrounding me and a door that I can lock, but if the need arises I can empty my bladder and bowels everywhere. Dirty toilets or typical Chinese style gutters where everybody squats in a line while you can see what everybody produces; everything is possible. Due to the obscurity of toilet stories they are often memorable, so I sometimes mention them in my diary. Malaysian WC’s are normally clean and boring by Asian standards, which means that they are seldom mentioned. The only thing that we noticed were the signs that hang above western style sitting toilets to explain that users should sit instead of stand on the toilet seat. Until recently, Malaysians used mainly the squat toilet which meant that the sitting toilet needed some explanation.

Finally, on Fraser’s Hill there came a new addition to my collection of toilet stories. I really needed to do number two while there wasn’t a toilet close by. I went into the bushes and while I was laying a brown egg, I noticed that I was being spied upon. Three bloodthirstily leeches where crawling towards me and I was certainly the prey that they were heading to. This is the kind of wildlife that you don’t like to see at this moment and it makes a short sanitary stop less relaxed. I hurried as much as possible and could pull up my trousers before my attackers were able to reach me. Leeches are innocent animals that don’t carry any diseases, but the prospect of having one between my buttocks isn’t a prospect that I like. However, a few actively hunting leeches definitely give an extra dimension on doing number two in the open.

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